This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
