grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
