he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Two words: blizzard sex
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
