thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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