I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
