At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize