She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
