I hope mine doesn't look like that
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
