What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
