Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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