Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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