Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
