I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
