nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
