when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
