handjob tips. give me some.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
