Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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