And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
