Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
