help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
