My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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