My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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