ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize