the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
