Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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