We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
