Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Please, let me fuck your mom
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
