Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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