Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
