I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
