I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize