remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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