I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
