i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
