I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize