i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
