I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
