hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
