this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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