This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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