Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize