They should really pass out barf bags in church
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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