i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
