every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
