i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
