you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just google imaged poop.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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