watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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