im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
