have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
