he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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