i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
