You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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