K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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