We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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