Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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