I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize