I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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