Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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