Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
