I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
