it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
