if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize