Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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