She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
