He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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