He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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