sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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