yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She bit a glass in half.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
