He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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