Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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