Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
