Tell her she can't have a vagina
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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