filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
