How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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