yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
