Porn is love you can see.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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