No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
