Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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